Introduction:
• What do my disappointments reveal about me and about where my hope truly lies?
• Disappointment with people is not an interruption to life in a fallen world – it is the expectation of life in a fallen world.
• People, even the best people, will fail us. And unless we understand this truth, we will continue to place on others a weight they were never designed to carry.
1. Disappointment With Others: The Reality of Human Fallenness
1.1 Even the best people will fail us
• Psalm 146:3 “Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation.”
• Matthew 26:56 “Then all the disciples left him and fled.”
Application Questions:
• Whom have I placed on a pedestal, expecting perfection?
• How do I typically respond when others fail me- anger, withdrawal, or grace?
• What unrealistic expectations am I placing on my family, spouse, friends, or church?
1.2 The human heart is bent toward self and sin.
Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
Application Questions:
• Am I focused on and surprised by the sins othersmore than I am by my own?
• How does recognising universal human corruption help me respond more humbly to disappointment?
• Do I acknowledge my own failures as readily as I point out those of others?
1.3 Disappointment exposes misplaced hopes.
• Psalm 118:8–9 (ESV) “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man…”
Illustration:
Every time I put someone on a pedestal, God has to knock them off so I’ll remember Who belongs there.
Application Questions:
• Where have I been expecting a human relationship to give me what only God can provide?
• What would it look like to shift my every initial- and ultimate hope from people to the Lord?
• How has God used disappointment to remind me of His sufficiency?
2. Disappointment With God: When God Does not do What and How we Expect
2.1 The Psalms give voice to honest disappointment.
• Psalm 13:1 “How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?”
• Psalm 42:9 “I say to God, my rock: ‘Why have you forgotten me?’”
Application Questions:
• Am I honest with God and myself about my disappointments, or do I pretend they don’t exist?
• Do I believe God can handle the full weight of my questions and pain?
• How might praying the Psalms help me process disappointment according to God’s will?
2.2 The prophets expressed similar perplexion
• Habakkuk 1:2 “O LORD, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not hear?”
• Job 30:20 (ESV) “I cry to you for help and you do not answer me … “
Application Questions:
• Where in my life am I waiting for God’s help and seeing no immediate answer?
• How does the biblical record of saints expressing confusion comfort me in my own struggle?
• What unanswered prayers do I need to entrust again to God’s wisdom?
2.3 Disappointment arises from misunderstanding God’s purposes.
• Isaiah 55:8–9 (ESV) “For my thoughts are not your thoughts…”
• “God’s dealings are beyond our understanding, but never beyond His love.” – Richard Sibbes
Application Questions:
• Do I equate “I don’t understand” with “God doesn’t care”?
• How have I seen God’s purposes become clearer in hindsight?
• What current situation requires me to trust God’s character more than my understanding?
2.4 God uses disappointment to redeem and refine us.
• Romans 5:3–4 “Suffering produces endurance … character … hope.”
• 2 Corinthians 1:9 “ … that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God…”
Application Questions:
• What might God be producing in my character through my current disappointment and frustrated (and too often selfish and sinful) expectations?
• How is He teaching me to rely on Him more fully?
• What idols (comfort, control, approval, success) is God exposing through disappointment?
3. God Never Fails, Even when we Misunderstand His Way
3.1 God’s faithfulness is absolute.
• Lamentations 3:22–23 “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases … great is Your faithfulness.”
Application Questions:
• Which truths about God’s character do I tend to forget in suffering?
• How have I personally experienced God’s faithfulness in past disappointments?
• What promises of God do I need to cling to right now?
3.2 Christ and his cross prove God trustworthy.
• Romans 8:32 “He who did not spare his own Son…”
• “Our disappointment is often His appointment.” – John Flavel
Application Questions:
• How does the cross reshape the way I interpret my suffering and disappointments?
• What good things do I doubt God would give me, even though He has already given His own Son, His very SELF?
• Where and how do I need to surrender my expectations to God’s wise and loving providence?
3.3 God is close to the (sinfully) disappointed and righteously brokenhearted.
• Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted…”
Application Questions:
• Do I view God as near or distant in my righteous and sinful disappointment?
• What practices help me experience God’s nearness in His means of grace-Scripture, AS WELL AS prayer, fellowship (in gathered worship around the Word, Baptism, Fellowship, in carrying each others’ crosses, in brokenness and redemption) And and His Table)?
• How can I remind myself (and everyone else) that God is near to the crushed in spirit?
4. Responding to Disappointment: A Biblical Pathway
4.1 Bring your disappointment honestly to God
• 1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
Application Questions:
• What specific disappointment (first in MYSELF, before in others), do I need to cast on the Lord today?
• What keeps me from bringing everything, not just some things, to Him
• How does knowing God cares for me change my expectations, and how I pray and love?
4.2 Reorient your hope toward God, not people
• Psalm 62:5 (ESV) – “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him.”
Application Questions:
• What competing “hopes” have I been trusting instead of the Lord?
• How can I cultivate a heart that waits on God rather than demands immediate results?
• Where do I need God to realign my expectations?
4.3 Forgive others as God forgave you
• Ephesians 4:32 “ …forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Application Questions:
• Whom do I need to forgive today—genuinely and from the heart?
• What bitterness or resentment have I allowed to linger unchecked?
• How does the gospel empower me to release others from their debt?
4.4 Trust God’s providence in what He withholds.
• Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”
• “Afflictions do not come by chance, but by the wise counsel of God.” – Thomas Boston
Application Questions:
• What good thing do I believe God is withholding and why is that painful
• How has God used “withheld blessings” for my good in the past?
• What would it look like for me to accept His providence with open hands?
4.5 Look to Christ, the One who endured the greatest disappointment.
• Matthew 27:46 “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Application Questions:
• How does Jesus’ suffering transform my understanding of my own?
• What does it mean that Christ knows my disappointment from the inside?
• How can I look to Christ—not my circumstances—for hope and stability?
Conclusion:
• Psalm 25:3 “Indeed, none who wait for You shall be put to shame.”
• Disappointment is painful, but it is not purposeless.
• God uses it to deepen trust, refine faith, crush idols, and draw us near.
• People will fail us, but God will not. His providence is wise, His nearness is real, and His promises are sure.
A FINAL WORD: LOVE NEVER GIVES UP
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
• When disappointment strikes, whether through the failures of people or through our confusion with God’s providence, the greatest danger is to withdraw our hearts. We are tempted to retreat, to disengage, to give up on people… and sometimes even on God Himself.
• But Scripture is clear: to give up is not love. And the Christian life is fundamentally a life of love, the fulfilment of the Great Commandment.
• Paul’s Spirit-inspired definition of love directly confronts the sinful impulses that grow out of disappointment.
• To give up on people is contrary to biblical love.
a. “Love is patient and kind…”
Love absorbs disappointment without growing bitter. It refuses to become harsh, resentful, or accusatory.
b. “Love… does not insist on its own way.”
We often become disappointed because our way, our timeline, or our desires have not been met. Love surrenders personal demands for the sake of Christlike tenderness.
c. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
d. Love refuses to declare others hopeless.
• It refuses to cut them off forever.
• It refuses to cease praying for them.
• It refuses to say, “I’m done with you.”
To give up on people is unloving, because love endures even when they fail.
“A drop of love is worth a sea of knowledge.” – Thomas Brooks
• Because love does what knowledge alone never can—it perseveres.
• To give up on God is contrary to faith and the Great Commandment.
• When God disappoints our understanding, our timing, or our expectations, the temptation can be to withdraw from prayer, worship, or trust. But the Great Commandment calls us higher.
• Matthew 22:37 “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”
Love for God holds fast even when His ways are mysterious:
• Love is patient when God seems slow.
• Love is humble when God’s ways seem confusing.
• Love hopes all things because God is faithful.
• Love endures all things because God is good—even in disappointment.
• Love never ends because God’s love for us in Christ never ends.
Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love.”
• God’s love is enduring, unbreaking, unwavering. Our love ought to mirror His.
Disappointment is not a permission slip to quit loving.
1 Corinthians 13 create a holy rebuke to our resignation and a divine summons to perseverance:
• When people fail you- love them still.
• When circumstances confuse you- trust God still.
• When God’s ways are mysterious- cling to Him still.
Not because the people deserve it.
Not because we understand everything.
But because Christ loved us with an enduring love when we were the greatest disappointment of all. “But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
This is why love cannot give up. Love is the antidote to disappointment.
Disappointment reveals our expectations. Love reveals God’s heart.
When the two collide, love wins.
• Love bears.
• Love believes.
• Love hopes.
• Love endures.
• Love never ends.
• To give up on God or on others is not the way of the Gospel.
It is the opposite of the cross.
• Jesus endured the greatest disappointments: betrayal, abandonment, denial, injustice, agony, yet He never stopped loving. And because He loved us to the end, we can love Him and others to the end.
Final Application Questions:
• Where am I tempted to give up on someone God is calling me to love?
• How does 1 Corinthians 13 challenge my responses to disappointment?
• In what ways have I withdrawn from God because of confusion or unmet expectations?
• How can the love of Christ toward me reshape the way I endure disappointment with others?
• Which part of “love bears… believes… hopes… endures” do I need to practice this week?
• What would it look like to obey the Great Commandment in the midst of disappointment?